So, as I've told many people, I recently found out I was accepted to the Back Country Trails program. I've not been quite as excited for anything in a long time, it's done something absolutely remarkable to the way I approach things, and I'm starting to think it's one of the most wonderful feelings ever. It's hard to sum up everything I'm feeling because of it, but I suppose I could try.
Some things that have come to mind: no responsibility except to myself, the ability to flirt shamelessly without worrying about whether I'd be compatible with people relationship-wise, a feeling that I have limited time, so I have to live as much as possible within that time... not caring about deadlines for anything besides the CCC, unfettered confidence because I almost feel like nothing I do or say matters that much because I'm leaving...
I don't know if that sums it up perfectly, but it at least brushes the surface of the absolute elation I've been having these days. There have been small let downs (attempting to find out what the hell was going on inside someone's head, and getting basically completely cut off, seeing a certain two people together and thinking "damn it, that might have been me"), but they are only small eddies in the rising tide of happiness I've been swept up in.
It took a few months, but compared to how I used to be, I think I've successfully turned my life around. Thank goodness.
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